


then I saw Croco fucking Doffy Claus

by Bajillian



Series: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Christmas, Doflamingo is a little shit, Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, getting caught
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28295010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bajillian/pseuds/Bajillian
Summary: Crocodile is woken up when Doflamingo decides to blast some Christmas music.
Relationships: Crocodile/Donquixote Doflamingo
Series: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065623
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	then I saw Croco fucking Doffy Claus

It was 1 AM.

One in the fucking morning, and Doflamingo was doing something ridiculous - this was what was going through Crocodile’s mind. He didn’t have to go down and check or even open his eyes because there was no clingy flamingo man wrapping each of his lanky-ass limbs around his body. He didn’t want to know what the jingling bells were, or why there were frantic footsteps, or--

_why All I Want for Christmas Is You was suddenly blasting through their living room speakers._

Crocodile groaned and hid his head under the pillows in an attempt to muffle it. If he were lucky, their neighbors would get annoyed enough to come over and smash their stereo system. He was considering doing it himself at this point. If it meant he could get some peace and quiet, the cost of buying a new system would be better than this hell.

When the volume of the music lowered, he thought he was free, but then he heard Doflamingo’s voice singing to him.

“Ohh, Crocoooo~”

Crocodile huffed. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, he’d be left alone. But he knew the flamingo bitch all too well. He would most definitely come into the room, so Crocodile reluctantly sat up and called back a disgruntled “What??”

“I have a surprise for you, baby. Why don’t you bring that beautiful ass down here, hm?”

Crocodile stood up slowly and reached for his robe as he put on his slippers. He just managed to tie the belt when Doflamingo called for him again.

“Don’t keep me waiting now, Croco dear!”

“I’m _coming,”_ Crocodile growled back, then under his breath: “Impatient bastard. Wakes me up in the middle of the night.” 

He continued to grumble all the way through the hall and down the stairs, but stopped and stared when he saw what Doflamingo was wearing: a white feather coat and a red thong that had white fluffy accents to make it look like a Santa hat, as well as an actual Santa hat on his head. Dangling from his nipple piercings were red and green bells.

“Merry Christmas, Crocodile,” Doflamingo said, shaking the bells and turning the volume back up to full blast. “Have you been naughty or nice this year?”

“Shouldn’t you know that already, _Santa?”_

“Ooh, call me that again.”

“You know you woke me up at one in the fucking morning, right?” Crocodile lowered the music and crossed his arms, ignoring Doflamingo’s request. “What do you have planned?”

“What, I can’t want to spend an early morning Christmas with the love of my life?” Doflamingo asked. He wrapped his arms around Crocodile, encompassing him in white feathers while he turned the music back up and danced.

Crocodile was stiff as a board. “This is not how I want to spend my morning,” he grumbled. 

Doflamingo frowned. “No? That’s a shame,” he said. “What is it you _would_ like to do? Don’t say sleep. That’s boring.”

Crocodile pushed out of Doflamingo’s hold, and the feathered man looked hurt before Crocodile said, “One moment.” He left the room and came back shortly after with a bottle of lube. “If you’re not going to let me sleep, then I need to blow off some steam. Strip down and turn around.”

Doflamingo usually didn’t like being ordered around. He liked handing out commands and getting what he wanted. But he could let Crocodile slide this time, since he had been woken up (it wasn’t Doflamingo’s fault that his partner didn’t like to have innocent fun at any time). Of course, he wouldn’t go along as easily. He wanted to make a show of it.

Crocodile watched intently as Doflamingo very slowly slipped his coat off and tossed it onto the couch. Then, he turned around and wiggled his hips as he slid the thong down his thighs, letting it fall to his ankles before he promptly kicked it into the air. It landed on a nearby lamp.

“Likin’ what you see, Croco?” Doflamingo asked as he gazed over his shoulder.

“Damn straight” was the only warning Crocodile gave before he pinned Doflamingo up against the wall and let his lubed finger tease and slip inside.

Doflamingo responded by pushing his ass back a bit to thrust against Crocodile’s hand, arching a bit to get a better angle. “Add another,” he said. “Don’t be shy, dea-- _ah!”_

“That’s right, fuck yourself on my fingers,” Crocodile said, adding a second. “Just like that. Good boy.”

Doflamingo scoffed, though it was way less composed than usual. “Don’t ‘good boy’ me,” he said. “I’m the one who’s Santa. I’m just letting you be in charge ‘cause I woke you up.”

“Nah, you’re a naughty fucking elf,” Crocodile said, punctuation the last three words with rougher thrusts of his fingers, “who’s going to get my cock up his ass until I’m satisfied. You got that?”

Doflamingo let out a breathy chuckle. “Ooh… yes, sir,” he said. It was exciting seeing Crocodile like this with more of the control. “Give me what I deserve, darling.”

* * *

It was fucking-early-o-clock, and Law just wanted to sleep. He was no stranger to sleepless nights, but the one time he managed to go to bed early and fall into a deep sleep, some dumbass started playing Christmas music at full blast. He had a feeling who said dumbass was, and one look out the window was enough to confirm it.

Doflamingo.

Crocodile lived there, too, but he knew the man well enough that he wouldn’t pull this kind of bullshit. Maybe he had the decency to stop his partner from being obnoxious.

...At least, he’d hoped that would be the case so he wouldn’t have to go over there and tell them to shut the music off, but time kept passing by and he still wasn’t able to get to sleep. He sighed and got up again so he could put on his shoes and coat, then journey his way across the street.

He found it odd that the blinds were wide open, since he himself liked to keep his privacy. All it took was a split second of looking through the window to make him regret coming out here in the first place. As clear as day, he saw Crocodile fucking a Santa-hat-wearing Doflamingo into the wall to a playlist that apparently only consisted of _All I Want for Christmas Is You_ on repeat. He turned on his heel and headed right back home.

It seemed it was going to be a sleepless night.

**Author's Note:**

> Law, sweetie, I am so sorry.
> 
> This is the last fic of the series! I had so much fun writing these and I wanna thank everyone who’s given the fics some love! Let me know what you think! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! 💛  
> Also, come say hi to me on my [writing blog](https://bajillianwrites.tumblr.com/), where I post updates about what I'm working on!


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